I have decided that while I love teaching, man, I miss seeing my babies all day. I miss picking up Jaden from school and reading with Jensen. I miss doing Mea's hair in the morning. Being a working mom is hard. I thought it would be easier, but it isn't. I traded isolation and repetition for guilt and longing. So, I guess what they say is true, the grass is greener.
I do believe this job was God given. Jared and I were trying to figure out how to make all the finances work, and ISCM called. They offered me a job- 1) I couldn't pass up, and 2) Hours where Jared could stay at home during the day while I work. It has been a blessing to work and know that we will have everything our family needs. That being said- fingers & toes crossed that Jared gets the extension job he is interviewing for.
What I have decided is that I only get to do this mom thing once. My babies will only be babies for a couple of years, so I'm going to enjoy it while I can. This might be my last year to teach full time for the next couple of years. Just until I get my kids all in school. I know I am a good teacher, but when my kids are home and I'm not, I spend the day wondering what they are doing.
I am thankful for the opportunity to be able to choose what I want to do as a woman, to have options. But, I'm just not buying into the "a woman can have it all" concept. Not this woman- not all at once. In my life I am going to have it all...I'll have a great job, great kids, a house, a nice car...and everything else we need/want. Right now, that is just too much pressure, and me spread too thin. I want to enjoy it all, as well as having it all, and stuffing it all in at one time is hard.
This post is probably TMI for everyone...so on to what you are really wanting...KIDS PICS!
Let the Gingerbread house making Begin!
2 comments:
Mary, you are SPOT ON with this post! Way to address an issue that plagues so many women today! Yea, we can have it all...just not all at once thank you! Call when free time makes its way over to your camp. Wanting to hear how potty training is going with little man etc etc. I have some funny stories to share as well. Merry Christmas Decker Family!
Not TMI. Beautiful post. You have me crying. I am homeschooling Nicole and Luke this year and seriously I wouldn't trade it for the world. However, it comes at a pretty high price to other things. I told Rich the other day I think I need the kids to go back to school if I am going to do anything for Christmas! In all seriousness, you are exactly right. We only get to do the mom thing once. I wouldn't and don't want to wish it away for anything. Thanks for the perspective. You are inspiring. Sure love you!!!
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